Disappointment

Everyone has to deal with disappointment at some time in their life. Yesterday, my son was no exception. Being the true die hard sports fanatic, he has spent the greater part of his life participating in just about every sport known to mankind, but his true love is baseball. For many years, when asked what he wants to do “when he grows up” he proudly announces, “I am going to be a major league baseball player.”

Yesterday was the final cut for the freshman baseball team. He did not make it. To say this was a crushing blow would be an understatement. My husband had to deal with the fallout, as each player was called behind the bleachers to have their fate revealed to them. Our son stoically held it together until he got in the car and he could not hold it in any longer. This year it was not to be.

Ironically, my husband and I have always wondered when this day would come. We think back and we really don’t remember our son ever losing, getting cut, not being one of the best. You see, he has always been the smallest, but his big heart, natural raw talent and love of the game has always gotten him through every time. Not this time though, because the other players are bigger, stronger and can hit further. Welcome to high school!

I know he will be okay. I know in time he will understand that with disappointment comes learning - learning that you have other gifts and talents which you have not developed, learning that you will always get another chance to make the cut and learning that it really is not the end of the world, although it may seem like it today.

Mothers

Sitting here in the hospital while my mom is undergoing back surgery has given me some free time, well lots of free time. Time to think and time to write about what is on my mind. Ironically while my mom is in surgery, it is also my birth mother's birthday. I am going back and forth, wondering and worrying about both of them, all the while keeping my game face on, which I have gotten quite good at. Is mom doing okay with the surgery. Is the doctor going to come out any minute and say everything is fine? I haven't talked to my birth mother in almost a month. Is she doing okay? Is anyone celebrating with her? The knot in my stomach will not go away. It wasn't there this morning. Oh that's right, I had my game face on then. The dentist just called, I forgot my son's appointment this afternoon. Another blonde moment I guess. The receptionist seemed a bit irritated but frankly, I have more important things on my mind and his teeth can wait another week.

So today could be a day of double celebration any minute, knowing the mothers are okay, one 6 states away and one right behind the double doors. My heart says it will be.